Self defence with Jagruti girls

After a lull of many weeks, we were egged to some activity by an opportunity we suddenly found in a sports meet organized by Power of We, for a group of 40 girls in the age group between 16 and 22 years. These girls are a part of Jagruti, a learning centre for economically underprivileged people, primarily working towards spreading awareness on HIV/AIDS.

The meet was held on Sunday, 27^th May. Get Eve-in was allotted one hour, towards the end of the event, to impart some simple tips on self-defence. We were a tad apprehensive, especially as the clock ticked, wondering how we, just the two of us, would deal with this boisterous bunch of girls, who were squabbling over the results of a previous event. The apprehension was accentuated when we realized that this was the first time we were dealing with a group that also included victims of sexual abuse. This was our true challenge; after all, our vision is to make women comfortable with themselves, their backgrounds and removing all impediments to their freedom of expression!

So began our one hour session with the girls. We formed a circle so that we were compact and our instructions could be heard clearly. Priya started with the need for self-defence without talking specifically about eve-teasing; instead stressing on the importance of safety, say from a chain-snatcher, etc. We had to bear in mind that it was an open field and we had a lot of passers-by – mostly men – as our audience as well. We didn’t want to make it difficult for the girls and ourselves by spending our energy warding off negative forces that could’ve been stoked if we hadn’t tempered down. We started with the forearm and shin chop – a form involving repeated strikes on the forearm and shin area. While doing so, we asked them whether it hurt. We never knew that histrionics was in store for us at this point - the girls were ‘groaning’ in pain caused by the repeated ‘chopping’. “Nauvu aagthaide, aunty”, “Thumba ne nauvu aagthaide” all without a straight face. It was a funny sight. We proceeded, showing them the other forms – use of weight or the drunken fall; V-slide and finally the STING. In order to demonstrate the STING form and show other pain points, we divided them into two groups as this was one of the key tips in self-defence and also to ensure that we had their attention. The girls were smart and memorized the pain points in no time; possibly this was their favorite form, chuckling away as it was being explained.

We quickly recapitulated all the forms as we ended our session. The girls flocked Priya and I, thanking us for spending time with them and for providing some useful tips; this was probably the norm at such events, but their love was unconditional – we were moved. They invited us with excitement, to visit their community centre; took our phone numbers saying they will stay in touch. Their enthusiasm and zest for life was refreshing.

Even though we didn’t elicit their experiences of sexual harassment and how they would use these forms; even though they didn’t ask us the ways to get out of certain situations, we are sure that the session will nevertheless be helpful. Hope to see you soon, girls!

Yesterday's workshop

Yesterday we joined Dr Sangeeta and Shamira from Enfoldindia as they conducted the last leg of their sex-education workshop in a school. It was a beautifully designed course that ended with safety tips for the children. Batch after batch we demonstrated the few tips we knew. The girls trooped in hour after hour - 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th standard. After every session the girls would stay back and ask,
“Ma’am, if someone touched my bum in a concert, would that be considered as sexual harassment”
“Ma’am what do you do if the auto driver keeps adjusting the mirror to look at you?”
“If he only calls us names but doesn’t touch us?”
“We went for a school trip once and the person in charge kept holding every girl tightly around the waist, even when we protested!”.

So many questions, incidents, experiences. They were all between 12 to 16 years olds. They certainly didn’t ‘ask for it!!!’

I just hope whatever self defence tips we managed to squeeze in, helps them. And that they get even with every pervert out there who dares to hurt/touch/abuse them.

Sleeping with the enemy - Do some of us have a choice?

Two articles in India Together caught my attention this month- the stories of the other halves. In rural India.

"Dilution or outright waiver of punishment if a rapist offers to marry his victim is an extra-legal step, one that is not written into law anywhere. But it continues to be entertained..." Read more >>

"For decades, girls in northern Karnataka have been 'dedicated' to goddess Yellama and then turned into sex-workers. In olden days, after dedication, the girls danced at temple festivals and functions. The priests freely used them for sex and were later passed on to the village chiefs...." Read more >>